The edge

The other day I was telling a friend about a moment in my life when I felt so dissolved as a person that it was like the world was flat, and there was I, teetering over the edge of an abyss, with stars dotted around me - mere pin pricks in an otherwise dark void.
In less dramatic or horrifying fashion, I find myself once again on the edge of the unknown, and nervous.
Today we had a little boy over for a playdate with Alex. We hadn't had this boy over before, so of course, the experience was a little different from having the very placid and laidback Riley, over.
All in all the playdate went well. The boys seemed to have a reasonable time together, and the warm weather certainly helped a lot. Upon leaving, the little boy told us repeatedly that he will have Alex over at his house, next time. Cool, that'll be great, I said to humor him.
Anyway, I got a call from the little boy's Dad THIS EVENING. In the back of my mind I was thinking Is there a problem? Why is he calling me at this hour? Was something left behind? But I couldn't think of anything, so I wasn't tooooooo worried. He was actually calling to ask if Alex would like to comeover for a play....on Friday! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
I hestitantly said yes. Only because I had asked Alex, "if asked, would you like to go to a classmates house to play". He replied that he would go to the houses of the two boys who had visited us.
I should be rejoicing - he is making friends, YAY! The baby sitter experiment proved that neither they nor I would blow up if separated for a couple of hours, so why am I so darn nervous about this step?
Is it the step...the next step of separation that I am freaking out over...arms swiping at my baby boy as he slips through my strangle hold? Or is it the fear that he is going to freak out when I am not there, that the baby steps I am happy for him to take, if he wants to take them, will be set back months, years even, due to the trauma of a bad experience? No one wants to have a freaked out kid on their hands - especially one that is not their own. I have told the parent of this boy that I will be home all afternoon should there be a problem. I will talk to Alex about the playdate, to be sure that he really wants to go. I will drive past this kid's house to show Alex that he is not going far. I will assure him that he can ask the boy's Dad to give me a call if he wants to go home. Is there anything else I should do? Get a lobotomy perhaps? HEEEEELP!