more horror stories from the hardware store

This morning Ashley asked me to go to the local hardware store and get him a new hammer and some sand paper. (Shudder, pasty white face, anxiety chest pains, hot tears) "Sure", I said smiling through clenched teeth.
So Alex, Olivia and myself bundled into the car and off we went. It was just before lunchtime, so chaos was not yet reigning, or so I thought......
My plan was to go in, grab the stash and get out as quickly and as quietly as possible, with minimal damage; much like a thief might plan to hold up a bank. In the early stages the plan was going well. We had managed to infiltrate the building. The most direct route to the hammers was found. With the hammer stash secured, we vied our next target. The sand paper was quickly located. There was now only one obsticle between us and the get away car - a solitary cashier. Unfortuantely that is when the plan went to hell.
I had to wait until this one cashier was done serving 5 others before me and also those requesting information on the constantly ringing telephone. First Alex and Olivia ditch the shoes and ran hysterically around the aisles; then they rummaged through some large sharp edged metal thingys, which made an absolute racket when they whacked themup and down on the shelves.
Then it was my turn - finally. Halfway through the debit transaction the phone rings again and the guy leaves me hanging "don't you care that you shop is being ransacked", I screamed in my head. Then Alex wanders over "come quick and look", he says pulling my arm. "I can't right now", I responded in a terse tone, "I am in the middle of paying for this stuff".
"Olivia took her pants off", says Alex. Bugger the stuff! I dropped my bag and ran.
Olivia had indeed taken her pants off and her nappy (diaper) and was found standing at the display of toilets chanting "poo....wee". NOOOOoooooooooooo!
I did manage to reach her in time and no "damage" had been done, if you know what I mean. Oh, it was sooooo embarassing. I dragged her clothes back on and shuffled the two of them off to the car. I don't think we can show our faces in that shop AGAIN!!!!
Oh bugger. Ashley, you'll just have to go there yourself.