friendship and scattered thoughts

I don't know how long we are going to be living here in Canada. It may be a longer or shorter stint than we are planning on; no one can ever know exactly what may arise in the future, and of course there is the push and pull factor to consider...you know, the push to leave versus the pull to stay.
Any type of move is a big consideration, and we certainly weighed up the multitude of factors before we up sticks and left the country of our birth, eighteen months ago.
Considering the overall upheaval of a move of international proportions, the effect on children is among the biggest of our concerns, but also opportunity and purpose. We are already asking ourselves: "what on earth would we do over there, if we went back"?
I had a little boy over to play today. It was initially absolute chaos. Alex was overly excited and I had trouble calming him down, but the kids had a great time and spent almost an hour in the sand pile next door. When the little boy's Dad came over to pick him up, they spent an extra 90 minutes at our place and we got to chatting while the kids rode bikes in the parking lot. Ninety WHOLE minutes talking to another adult...in person! That is almost unheard of for me. The lady across the road even came over to chat with us. It also appears I have managed to develop a connection with a woman from Toastmasters (of all places!). I feel there is potential for a good friendship here, however embryonic at this stage. She is older and works (who doesn't around here). She has 4 older kids (youngest is 9), and said she was interested in our families getting together at some stage. She is very carefree and fun. She has a great positive attitude and is quite the inspiration, for many reasons.
It has taken the entire 18 months to find people; connect with people and build…. something, although nothing is really deep yet. It doesn’t matter if we move to the next town, time zone or country in the future, we will have to repeat and rebuild all that we achieve during our time in this town
It is not easy to make friends, for adults or kids. It is harder still, when a person has no-one willing to vouch for them and introduce them to an already established circle of friends. And then it takes a further commitment to keep that connection alive, especially when distance becomes a factor. It certainly helps the old mental state to have people around…good people. I do like my own space. I don’t require dozens of people around me, but I like to have a few that I can connect with for a chat, and exchange ideas. For me, it is a slow and steady process…this friendship business. Quality takes time, like a good wine, as they say.
When we left Australia, Alex had one little friend, called Sam. He just loved Sam, but even at the point of leaving Australia, I never really understood just how much he loved him. Whenever I would mention Sam, Alex would become really upset, clingy and sad…it would last for days - it was like he was feeling an intense grieving pain, in missing his best buddy. Alex was only 2 years old at the time and hasn’t seen his friend in over a year, but we are at least at a point now, where Alex can talk about Sam without getting upset. He still remembers him and says he wants to visit him. I would like that too. The family moved to Calgary from Adelaide three months after we moved to Vancouver. I have even looked into the cost of flying over there; an obscene $800 for three of us.... money I don't have. I guess I could do a road trip next year once the weather improves. Oh, I just thought of the train, maybe I could look into a train trip over there - Alex would LOVE that - sorry, just thinking out aloud.
Arrrr, to go back….to where….why? To stay….for how long, and at what cost? It was great to see Alex with his new friend today….it was great to see me with a new friend today….I guess there is loss in every decision we make. We decide if any single choice is worth the pain, the sacrifice, the effort, the risk. I think we consider such things in every choice we make…the more fundamental decisions take a little longer to process, occupying and demanding more of our attention, that’s all.